I felt myself spiralling into his arms. I could have stopped it — I should have — but then, a split second later, he was there, and his arms surrounded me in a tight embrace.
“No, Raymond, I’m not letting you go,” he said firmly.
I struggled gently to try to get out of his hold. “Jace… stop…”
A wave of dark energy overtook me — dark energy I had been trying to avoid for years. My muscles spasmed and my head jerked up involuntarily, my skull crashing straight into Jace’s jawbone. He let go immediately.
I moved away as quickly as I can, out of reach. Thick blood poured out of his mouth.
“Sorry,” I said, but there was no emotion in it. I couldn’t be compassionate. It wasn’t one of my emotive states. I just didn’t know how.
Jace wiped his mouth and stared at the blood idly. “It’s in your nature, isn’t it?”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. How could I refute it when I was a Death Star myself? My existence brought nothing but destruction. I hated it. I hated the fact I was a Death Star. I didn’t want to be.
Why didn’t I get to choose? Father, why did you create me?
“I can’t believe you dared to hurt me,” said Jace. Was that malice in his voice? I couldn’t tell. Light malice was so much different from dark.
“I didn’t want to,” I said flatly. “I can’t help it.”
“Perhaps,” said Jace, hurt. More blood leaked out of the corner of his mouth. Angel blood. I had probably broken a couple of teeth. Jace would be fine, though. He’ll heal.
I turned away from him to get through the door.
Leave. Leave now, before you hurt him more. Before you —
I stopped, and my eyes met his for the last time. “Yes, Jace?”
“I love you.”
I smiled. Or tried to. But there was no emotion in it, only pain. Because I knew that I couldn’t return the love. It would only be corrupting love, a love that would turn him away from the Light into the Dark. An unfortunate quality of darkness.
You can blacken the light, but never brighten the dark. Why… why do I love a Life Star? Why?
The door closed, hiding Jace from view. And I sighed.
I’ll never see you again, Jace. So I wish you the best. As much as a Death Star can bring.
I felt a slight force dragging me into the sky. Where I belonged.
I’m sorry, Jace. I’m going to have to use you again.
I closed my eyes.
And this time, I’m probably going to kill you.